Who Are You Listening To? How the Voices We Follow Shape Our Lives.
As adults, why are so many of us battling addiction, anger, anxiety, depression, and even thoughts of suicide?
One reason: no one gave us a guidebook for real life. We weren’t taught how to deal with a bad boss, a marriage that feels disconnected, financial pressure, aging parents, illness, or loss. Yet one thing is guaranteed—something will go wrong.
I don’t pretend to know why some people seem to carry more than others. Maybe some choices played a role. Maybe God is shaping something deeper—building us up, or tearing down what no longer serves us. Scripture reminds us that hardship is not evidence of abandonment, but often an invitation to deeper trust.
When I Didn’t Know What I Was Listening To
Looking back on 2007, I can say this honestly: I didn’t know who—or what—I was listening to.
The mortgage business had collapsed. My income dropped nearly 80%. I was fresh off a divorce. And my dad had been heartbreakingly diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor. On the outside, I kept moving forward. On the inside, I knew something was off—but I had no idea how to begin to address it.
God was with me the whole time. He wasn’t distant. He was patient. Waiting for me to slow down enough to have the conversation I’d been avoiding. That clarity didn’t fully come until 2019, but the groundwork was being laid long before I recognized it.
Recognizing Spiritual and Mental Imbalance
The body has a term called homeostasis—its ability to maintain balance. Your body temperature should be around 98.6 degrees. Too high or too low, and something is wrong.
The same is true mentally and spiritually.
If you feel constantly on edge, anxious, reactive, or restless, that’s not random. It’s a signal. Something is out of alignment. The question is: what voice is shaping your thoughts and responses?
Job, Pain, and the Voices Around Us
The book of Job is often misunderstood. People assume Job was endlessly patient. He wasn’t. He complained. He questioned. He wrestled with God.
Job lost his children, his wealth, his health—and even his closest friends turned on him, convinced he must have caused his own suffering. Yet only God knew the whole story.
Only God knows why someone faces cancer, addiction, loss, or adversity. Is it refinement? Awakening? A reminder of how fragile life is? Or simply the brokenness of the world we live in?
We may not know the reason—but we are shown the way forward.
Choosing the Voice of Jesus
Jesus describes Himself only once in Scripture:
“I am gentle and lowly in heart.” (Matthew 11:29)
That’s the voice I want shaping my life.
In a world full of opinions, outrage, and competing narratives, His voice is steady and clear. There may be many interpretations of Scripture, but this truth isn’t confusing: Jesus leads with humility, not condemnation.
The Cost of Listening to the Wrong Voices
We live in a world with unlimited access to noise. Social media can connect us—but it can also feed anger, comparison, and resentment. Anyone can comment, criticize, or provoke without consequence.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the idea of venting. We tell ourselves it helps—but often, it does the opposite.
Venting puts the body into fight-or-flight mode. Cortisol and adrenaline spike. Blood pressure rises. Anger pathways in the brain are reinforced, making future reactions faster and stronger. Sleep suffers. Headaches follow. Fatigue sets in.
Complaining about your spouse or coworker doesn’t heal anything. I’ve tried it. It didn’t work.
Ask yourself honestly:
Does what I’m consuming make me calmer—or more agitated?
Does it lead me toward peace—or keep me stuck in frustration?
The Power of a Spiritual Board of Advisors
This is why I’m a big believer in building a spiritual board of advisors.
Not hype-men. Not people who stir things up. But two same-gender, spirit-led, grounded individuals who can speak truth with clarity and love.
Your board should:
Correct you when needed.
Encourage you when you’re weary.
Keep you focused on what truly matters.
Jesus had twelve close friends. Paul referenced more than 50 relationships throughout Scripture. Faith was never meant to be lived alone.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” (Proverbs 13:20)
“Two are better than one…for if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9–10)
Finding a group of God-loving people can help shape perspective, lead to greater understanding, and a richer life.
A Better Question to Ask
Instead of asking, Why is this happening to me?
Try asking, Who am I listening to right now?
Because the voices you follow don’t just influence your mood—they shape your direction, your decisions, and ultimately your life.
A Gentle Invitation
Take a moment today and reflect:
What voices dominate my thoughts?
What inputs increase peace—and which increase agitation?
Who has permission to speak into my life?
Pray this simple prayer:
“Lord, help me quiet the noise, recognize Your voice, and follow You with clarity and trust.”
You don’t need every answer today. But you do need the right voice guiding your next step.
Jesus is still speaking—gently, faithfully, and clearly.
The question is: are you listening?
